Closing Time

If anyone had asked me eight months ago what I wanted most in the world, the answer would've been simple: I wanted to go home. I wasn't ready to live on my own. I didn't want to make new friends or have new experiences. All I wanted was to be in my own room again with my sisters within shouting distance and my mom there to hug me every night, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it. I was counting down the days until the end of the year before fall classes had even started. It seemed like I would be stuck on the top of this mountain for the rest of my life.

It's weird looking back now and realizing those eight seemingly interminable months have flown by faster than I could've ever imagined. Despite my best efforts to avoid people, I made some incredible friends and got involved in activities that I'm going to miss sorely over the four month summer break.

I think this torn feeling is something almost every college student can relate to. We want to go back to the familiar lives we've known for so long, but we're afraid that it won't be the same now. At the same time, our lives here at school have become more familiar than we ever expected them to. So is there a way to look positively at the end of the school year?

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that although this seems like and ending, it's really not. It's not like we'll part ways next week and never see each other again. We'll be back on this campus in just a few short months ready to start a whole new adventure. I can't deny that it's stressful to think about going back home and having parents and family members around all the time. However, I believe that the time we've spent away from home might actually make it easier to appreciate the time we have with our families. Spending time with them has now become the exception, not the rule.

We've all grown a lot since we moved here last August. Our views have changed, our lives have changed, and most of us are unsure how to feel about the impending parting of ways. But without endings, we could never start anything new. If high school hadn't ended, we wouldn't have ever gotten to this campus in the first place. And if nothing else, I am leaving for the summer absolutely positive that we can make this summer great and the next year even greater if we choose to. We can't stop the year from ending. But we can stop ourselves from seeing that ending as a bad thing. We can choose to see this ending as an opportunity to make a new beginning.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It’s that time of year again – college students everywhere are pounding keyboards, chugging caffeine, and burning the midnight oil to crank out those last couple of papers and presentations and absorb the last bits of knowledge needed to survive finals week. It’s a high-stress time for all involved, and I am almost certain that it is most people’s least favorite part of college. It can be tough to keep a positive attitude as deadlines are piling up and you’re tearing your hair out trying to meet them.

According to Jane Weaver, health editor for msnbc.com, good stress – the short-term kind that comes from having to meet a deadline – can actually be beneficial in a number of ways, from helping us feel more in control and productive to improving efficiency, memory, and heart function (full article available here for further reading). Researchers have also found that short bursts of stress can strengthen our immune systems and help prevent Alzheimer’s disease by constantly exercising brain cells.

Beyond the science, getting things done under stress just feels good; there is something inherently satisfying about sitting down and working to meet a deadline. Finals week provides many such deadlines, one after the other, which means countless opportunities to really feel like the productive human being you want to be rather than the procrastinator you may have been all semester.

It’s also far easier to get things done during finals week than it is throughout the rest of the year. Even though there are many deadlines piling up, there is a lot more time available to do work as well. With no classes to go to, you could potentially find yourself with a whole free day to do nothing but get caught up on homework. Even if you have a final or two, you have at most a four hour time commitment and are still free to spend the rest of the day doing work.

It is undeniable that people are much nicer to students during finals week. Administrators and leaders plan fun activities, RAs hand out candy and little encouraging notes and every email is signed “Good luck on your finals!” Even students are nicer to each other, perhaps sharing a sympathetic zombie burnout stare from across the library at two in the morning. 

And of course on top of all that there is the simple fact that finals only last for a week before they become summer. No matter how bad this last week is, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are almost done. We have almost survived a year. And whether it’s our first or our last, I don’t think that will ever not feel good.

A Class All Its Own

I have always considered myself to be pretty strong academically speaking, so when my adviser placed me into a junior level Psychology class I wasn't particularly worried. This turned out to be one of the most wrong judgments I have ever made. All through the semester I struggled to complete assignments on time and to understand the material well enough to participate in class. The feeling of not knowing what was going on in class was completely new to me, and every day I had to sit and listen to my older classmates discuss psychological concepts that were well beyond my level of understanding I became a little less confident in myself.

I frequently found myself wanting to give up and just accept a C in the class; I could easily pull off that grade without too much effort, and it would be so nice to just stop worrying about the work for a while. However, my strong Type A personality prevented me from ever doing anything halfway. So I continued to stress myself out over every aspect of the class, counting down the days until it was over.

Although I did not experience a single positive feeling toward this class while I was still in it, looking back I can see many ways in which this class benefited me. Although being surrounded by upperclassmen was intimidating, it provided a great opportunity for me to learn from students who are more experienced than me. On several occasions I found myself asking those who sat around me for advice on how to schedule and navigate through my next four years of college.

I also benefited just from the challenge of completing a junior level class as a freshman. This class was much more challenging than a general education course and required careful thought, planning, and attention to detail. These skills could not have been learned in one of my easier freshman-level classes because they are designed to ease us into the college experience. By taking this harder class in my first year, I gained a unique opportunity to learn skills that will benefit me throughout my college career.

While not all college students have experienced being placed in a class two years ahead of when they should've been, almost everyone has been in a class they didn't feel prepared to take. During the semester, while we're laying face down on the floor at the wee hours of the morning moaning about how hard life is, it can be difficult to believe that these classes will benefit us. But in the end, it is clear that harder classes can bring us a number of positive results.

If nothing else, taking a junior course as a freshman has given me a sense of extreme satisfaction. There is no better feeling than that of accomplishing something which you thought you could not do, and that is the feeling I experienced as I handed in my final Psychology paper today. No matter what class presents the challenge, the positivity payoff is the same: by finding the benefits behind taking the class even when it seems daunting can make a scary, higher-level class worth it.

Positivity Tested

After a tragedy like the bombing of the Boston Marathon, many people may question why I even bother taking a positive attitude. Quite frankly, I spent a lot of time questioning myself. All this talk about being positive is great, but where did it really get me? Bad things still happen in the world no matter how rosily tinted my glasses are. So what's the point?

I'd like to give an elaborate and wonderful answer to that question, but unfortunately I don't have one. All I really have is a hunch about why positivity is worth it, but that's good enough for me. This hunch is best illustrated by an example I observed on Facebook shortly after the incident. Several people had been posting photos asking their friends to pray for the victims, the first responders, and the law enforcement officials trying to track down the suspects. A few people, however, went one step further: they dared to ask their friends to pray for the suspects.

In one particular case, a friend of mine posted a photo saying "Pray for Dzhokhar." I thought it was a nice idea. After all, he was human too and he was just a kid our age. But my friend's own family thought differently. They commented on the picture in disbelief, sure he must be joking. They attacked him saying that we should be praying for the victims and their families, not the person who caused all this suffering in the first place.

But he wasn't kidding, and he very eloquently defended himself by saying that prayer for the victims goes without saying. He wasn't suggesting that we pray for Dzhokhar instead of the victims, simply pointing out that we should pray for Dzhokhar in addition to them. This struck me as very interesting. He wasn't really putting a positive spin on the situation. He wasn't suggesting that we pretend nothing bad happened. Yet somehow, just seeing his post, I felt much more positive about the situation just knowing that not everyone was treating it as a chance to be filled with hatred and anger. Some people were willing to take a step back and realize that everyone involved was affected in some way, even the suspects. And rather than throwing stones, some people were extending a hand in kindness and love even when it wasn't the easy thing to do.

I realized that in the end, being positive in this way is the only thing we really can do. Hate and anger don't make the situation any better for anyone. The only thing we really can do is continue to love one another in any way we can.

The Extra Mile

“Whoever did this obviously did not know shit about Boston, because nothing these terrorists do is gonna shake them. For Pete’s sake, Boston was founded by the Pilgrims, a people so tough they had to buckle their hats on. It is the cradle of the American revolution…it’s the hometown of Aerosmith who, on their fifth decade, are still going strong. Here’s what these cowards really don’t get. They attacked the Boston marathon, an event celebrating people who run twenty-six miles on their day off…for fun. And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing the marathon, kept running another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. These maniacs have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do is show just how good these people are.” –Stephen Colbert

If ever there was an event that it seemed inappropriate to be positive about, it’s the senseless killing of innocent people. So at first, it appears as though I shouldn’t write a post about the Boston marathon. However, there are some positive aspects to this tragedy and I think it deserves some recognition.

People could have reacted to the events that occurred in fear and anger, lashing out in retaliatory violence and hate. And although some people may have, that was not the general reaction of the masses. As Stephen Colbert pointed out on his show on Tuesday, all the people who set off the bombs succeeded in doing was showing how good the people of Boston are. People today seem to be convinced that American society has gone down the drain, that people aren’t as good as they used to be. The marathoners had just completed one of the most physically exhaustive competitive tasks possible and could have very understandably collapsed somewhere at the end and not gotten up for several hours. Instead, they continued running an extra distance to help people in dire need.

The positive reaction didn’t end with people who were actually at the race, however. There was also an outpouring of support on Facebook, with multiple photos and text posts circulating asking people to pray for the victims, the families, the bombers, and everyone involved. Multiple popular media personalities also paid tribute to the event, including Stephen Colbert. America as a nation came together to follow the manhunt, spread the word about everything that was going on, and offer prayers and support for the entire affected community.

Three lost lives and over a hundred injuries is nothing to smile about and definitely not a generally “positive” thing. However, there is more to positivity than just being happy. Positivity can also mean seeing the good in a situation that doesn’t at first appear good. With that definition in mind, a lot of positivity came out of the bombing of the Boston marathon. The brave men and women who volunteered their time and action, the first responders, and the brave runners who donated blood all went the extra mile (literally or metaphorically) to help others. They deserve recognition for the deeds they performed and this recognition should not be clouded over by negativity.

Food for Thought

So by this point, you should all be convinced either that positivity is an awesome thing or that I'm completely nuts for trying to find the silver lining in every situation. But what is really the benefit to thinking positively? So far, the only support I've offered for the idea has been pretty weak. "Think positively and you'll love homework and getting rained on and depriving yourself of things you love for forty days at a stretch!" I claim. You, rightly, may be putting your foot down and asking, "But why?"

Truthfully, after a while I started wondering myself why I was so dedicated to the idea of positivity. Sure, it keeps you from groaning about an upsetting situation and might make you feel like the whole world's made of rainbows and butterflies, but so what? In order to gain a better perspective on the benefits of thinking positively, I decided to read the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (a condensed version is available for free here if anyone is interested in checking it out).

So this week let's explore some of the arguments in favor of taking on a positive mindset in life. Why think positively? According to this book, in a survey of 600 college students, a low confidence level was the top-listed personal problem. Low self-confidence generally results from having a negative view of the world and your place in it; in other words, we think we are worthless and the world is pitted against us, and therefore we don't have much confidence in our abilities. In order to restore confidence in ourselves, we have to change the way we view the world.

You may wonder why it matters how we view the world when circumstances are either going to be for you or against you no matter how you look at them. Dr. Karl Menninger, a famous psychiatrist quoted in The Power of Positive Thinking, made the point that "Attitudes are more important than facts." Basically, even if the world really is against you (which it probably isn't) the important thing is still how you control your attitudes about the situation - not the facts of the situation itself.

Okay, so a doctor backed up my reasoning behind thinking positively. Everyone's clear now on the fact that thinking positively is indeed the best option when presented with an unfavorable situation. But why bother making positive thinking a focal point of your life? For one thing, having a positive outlook can fill you with life and energy. The Power of Positive Thinking contains many personal stories and testimonies of people who, through their positive outlook on life, persevered through speaking engagement after speaking engagement or pitched whole baseball games in 100 degree weather without losing morale. Peale makes the point, "The life of strain is difficult. The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence." Living life with a positive outlook is the simplest and happiest way to live.

Another benefit of positive thinking mentioned in the book is that it can actually improve your physical health. Emerging scientific studies have shown that having a positive attitude is linked to having lower levels of stress hormones and inflammation, leading to a more highly functioning immune system. It's long been said that laughter is the best medicine, but it's rapidly becoming clear that even just looking on the bright side of things can really improve your physical health.

So in the end, the tradeoff is this: find the silver lining even when it's hard in order to live an easy and happy life and enjoy good physical and emotional health. Sometimes you have to resist the human urge to wallow in self-pity and instead find the good in a situation. This is potentially a very rewarding exercise. But is it worth it?

Fasting and Weeping and Mourning and...Happiness?

 (DR. THOMAS, THIS IS THE BLOG I WANT SPECIFIC FEEDBACK ON. THANK YOU!)


Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week (or you don't happen to attend a Franciscan university, like I do), you've probably noticed that it's now the Christian liturgical season of Lent. If the crowd of ash-faced church-goers walking around all day last Wednesday didn't clue you in, maybe you noticed the increased number of crucifix necklaces being worn or the drastic reduction in chocolate consumption by your friends and coworkers as they strive to devote themselves to God.

Lent is all about deprivation and repentance. God tells us in the Bible to "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning" (Joel 2:12). Christians abstain from meat, give up favorite activities or foods, and spend more time pursuing God in prayer and devotion. We hear and reflect on stories of Jesus fasting, praying, and even being tempted by the devil himself.

You may be looking at the title of my blog and the title of this post, scratching your head in bewilderment. Fear not. You don't scratch alone. I too was rather perplexed as to how I could apply The Positivity Project to such a season as Lent. The two concepts seem completely at odds with each other, and yet I feel compelled to reconcile them.

Yes, Lent can seem like a negative thing when you look at the material end of things. Most Christians expect to spend forty days fasting (from food or some other pleasurable activity), giving alms, and doing acts of penance. In other words we give up, for a little over a month, all the things we generally think we need to be happy and functional human beings. How can this possibly be a good thing?

Well, sometimes it takes a rough journey to really appreciate the end reward. Yes, we spend weeks baring our souls, identifying the parts of us that separate us from God and figuring out ways to bring ourselves back. Throughout this spiritual journey we remove ourselves from worldly concerns and focus more on growing closer to God. While this quest may have some unpleasant earthly consequences (having to pass on a steak on your Friday night out or losing a couple minutes of sleep to say a rosary in the morning, for example), it theoretically has boundless spiritual rewards.

This is all well and good for those who believe in the idea of Lent, but even from a non-Christian standpoint, taking 40 days to step back and evaluate your life can be a beneficial exercise. I would confidently guess that there isn't anybody out there living a perfect life and taking the time to focus on all the things they want to focus on. These people may not see the positive aspect of spending forty days away from things you like in order to grow closer to God, but I think everyone can appreciate the idea of spending some time in self-reflection and evaluating what really matters in life. At the end, you'll find it was worth spending some time away from that one little thing that used to be endlessly important to you to discover what truly and fundamentally matters to you as a person.

And that's the thing to remember about Lent: although it may seem interminable while you're craving a Hershey's kiss or dying to know what's been going on in the Facebook world, it does in fact come to an end after just 44 short days. And it's not just any end, either. The season of Lent culminates (for Christians) with the celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ: Easter. All these difficult things we do during Lent - deprivation, repentance, self-examination - lead up to the most triumphant moment in Christianity. And that's one heck of a silver lining.